Old Navy Weekly

Hey Everyone! Just a reminder in case you have forgotten that tonight is the night for the update on Old Navy Weekly. In case you don't know http://www.oldnavyweekly.com/ is a website full of Old Navy coupons. They are hidden all over the site and some are even for $75 off of a $100 purchase. WOW! Make sure you go over to it tonight before you go to bed and see what you can find!!

Happy Shopping!!

12 Simple Secrets REAL Moms Know - Intro Part 1

Let me begin with a quote that Dr. Borba uses to begin this book:

"What is real?" asked the Rabbit one day...

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse.

"It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you

for a long, long time, not just to play with but REALLY

loves you, then you become Real...It doesn't happen all

at once...but once you are REAL you can't become unreal

again. It lasts for always."

--Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit (p.1)

Doesn't that just touch you? I loved that book as a child and reading this book I can completely understand why this particular quote was chosen. We must ask ourselves if what we are doing as a mother is going to "last for always." You know what??? The bottom line is that it is. No matter what we are doing it will last forever. It is just a matter of if that is going to be a positive or a negative forever.

I shared with you yesterday a passage from the introduction about all of the "stuff" that is being crammed into our heads about we are doing for our children. How we aren't doing this right and we must do this and here is the secret to happy kids...blah blah blah! It is so easy to be caught in the WORLD's trap as mothers, with so many options out there and so many choices to make we feel torn, never knowing if what we are doing will have a positive or negative impact on our children. Always wondering if we are as good or better of a mom than so and so. I know for me, I doubt my success as a parent often, and am always found with my nose in the latest and greatest Biblical parenting book ready and willing to pick up and implement the new perfect answer is to all of my child raising questions.

EVERYONE WANTS THE 18 YEAR OLD THAT WE CAN

LOOK AT AND KNOW THAT WE HAVE THE

CONNECTION AND THE BOND WITH...

THE 25 YEAR OLD THAT COMES TO US

WITH HER OWN MOTHERING QUESTIONS...

THE 15 YEAR OLD THAT ALWAYS MAKES US PROUD

AND NEVER QUESTIONS OUR CHOICES FOR HIM...

BUT ARE WE WILLING TO PUT IN THE WORK AND

MAKE THE HARD CHOICES TO GET US THERE

WHILE OUR KIDS ARE MUCH YOUNGER???

That is the REAL question!!

and the REAL answer is that REAL MOMS DO!!

So, lets begin by defining REAL:

• Real comes from deep inside.
• Real is instinctive and intuitive.
• Real is authentic and genuine. There is just NO faking it.
• Real is never borrowed. It's staying true to YOU!
• Real has no pretense, fabrication, phoniness.
• Real is simple. Its not complicated or difficult.
• Real comes naturally. (p. 4)

These are the ways that Dr. Borba uses to describe REAL and I think that there is one or two of those for each of us that hits home. I think its very important to remember as we embark on this journey that we are learning how to be a REAL mother. Its about us individually and not everyone's struggles or strengths will be the same. I would recommend starting a journal as we go along and just jotting down these traits that you feel describe you or may be something you struggle with. Later on we will work more with journaling, but for now, just keep that in mind as we go along. Take notes so that you can reflect on these things during your quiet time. For me, the one that stands out is Real is simple. Its not complicated or difficult. My husband tells me all the time that if I would just do what it is that I spend an hour writing down on my to do list, I would be done before I even start. I have a problem with complicating things. How about you?? Which ones stand out to you??

Now, what does a REAL mom look like?? Here is what Dr. Borba says:

• A real mom doesn't worry what other moms are saying or doing.
• A real mom knows her children so well that she makes her parenting decisions based on their unique needs.
• A real mom is clear about her personal values and code of behavior and sticks to it.
• A real mom knows what's important for her family and keeps those priorities straight.
• A real mom has confidence in her maternal instinct and isn't pushed around by the latest pressures and trends.
• A real mom knows that what matters most is a close connection with her children so that her influence "lasts for always."(p. 4)

So, are you crying yet?? I was. I am. I want more than anything to have a connection and an influence on my kids...a realness that like the velveteen rabbit will "last for always." But I must confess, I am swayed and pushed around by trends, and I do worry about what other moms say and do. Uh Oh!!

And what does a REAL mom do?? Above all, she stays true to herself and connected to her kids, and she doesn't deviate from what she knows is best for her family...Here is some more:

• Real moms have a life of their own.
• Real moms break the rules for their family.
• Real moms let their kids wear the same clothes two days in a row.
• Real moms go on a date with their husbands and aren't afraid to miss the PTA meeting.
• Real moms give their kids pots and pans to play with.
• Real moms leave their food on the tray and head for the parking lot when their kid has a meltdown in McDonalds.
• Real moms make their kids do their homework.
• Real moms aren't afraid to say no.
• Real moms give themselves time outs.
• Real moms tell their kids they don't have to play Beethoven's Fur Elise at the family reunion.
• Real moms know its not personal when their kids say, "You're the meanest mother in the whole wide world."
• Real moms say "good job" when their kids get an A, but hold off on getting them the brand new Lexus.
• Real moms make their 16 year olds set their own alarm clocks.
• Real moms tell their kids to pay their own library fines.
• Real moms ask Uncle Harry to put on the lampshade and do his juggling act on the kitchen table as the birthday clown.
• Real moms let their kids be bored.
• Real moms say, "Not in our family" when their kids complain that "everybody else does."
• Real moms say, "Im not an ATM" and encourage their kids to save their money.
• Real moms admit they are wrong.
• Real moms know they are not perfect.
• Real moms leave the dust when the playgroup comes.
• Real moms admit and apologize when they are grouchy.
• Real moms send their kids to canoe paddling camp when everyone else is in intensive Chinese language immersion. (p.4-6)

Getting Back to Real Mothering

Does this sound like you? Do you identify with some of these traits listed?? Do you ever get that gut feeling that you really should say "no thank you" or maybe this new friendship that you have set up for your kids just isn't beneficial? Do you ever feel like you are only doing it because everyone else is or you have other motives? Do you decide to do things that are "GOOD" even when they are not RIGHT for your family? That is where I have my problem. Here is a perfect example. I came about an inch from leaving my own birthday party/crawfish boil Sunday with my entire family to bring my kids to a birthday party for a little girl in my daughter's class just because I am close to her mom. The guilt that I had and still have because my husband convinced me that I was being completely irrational is overwhelming and I feel terrible about it. I know that I made the right choice and that staying home and being with family on my birthday after they put so much effort into the day for me was the right choice, but the guilt...MAN THE GUILT!!!

Mothering is the most important job we'll ever have in our lives. Nothing, absolutely nothing, has as much influence and power over our families and future generations than a mother...besides the Lord himself. But as Dr. Borba tells us,

"There is the general agreement that something isn't working: our kids aren't thriving like we'd hoped, and we are too often suffering from guilt, anxiety, and exhaustion. That is why there is so much talk of this Motherhood Mania. Women across our country see mothering as a 24/7 sprint to the finish line. The only solution is to be real, to be simple, to get back to the natural and authentic kind of mothering that isn't based on the latest TV show, educational video game, or hot new parenting product. Remember: If its real, its simple. Its not complicated or difficult. It's easy and you already have the skills to do it. (p. 6)

Let's think on these things today and jot down the traits of real mothers that hit home with us as well as those that define what a real mom looks like and what she does. Tomorrow we will begin with the benefits of being a real mother, but yall can you believe we are still in the introduction?? Great stuff...Great stuff.

Post and let me know what you are thinking so far and remember to send a friend our way if you know someone who you think you benefit from our study. My goal is to change the way the 2009 mom sees herself and her family.

IT'S TIME TO GET REAL!!

April Book of The Month~12 SIMPLE SECRETS REAL MOMS KNOW

Okay everyone...prepare yourself for this. I checked this book out at the library last week and have begun to read it a second time. This book is the wake up call I very desperately needed in the life of my family and in my journey to yielding to the high calling that the Lord has placed on me as a mother. This book is unbelievable I tell ya! Rest assured, I am a big reader...but only of good books. If I say its good girls...the book is GOOD!!! I will close a book in Chapter 1 so fast it is not even funny. Im a major discriminator of books...if its not good I will not finish it. You can trust me!!

So what does all of this mean????

I guess I'll just go ahead and tell ya...

Because of the direction parenting is going, I feel very compelled to share this with you. When I first started my blogging journey it was because I truly want to start a revolution of sorts to bring us back to basics when raising our kids and to join moms together all across the country to change the way of life as we know it as far a parenting goes. I don't know about you but I am not interested in teenage pregnancy, smoking, drugs, and sex in 6th grade. THIS WORLD IS BROKEN and only we can fix what needs to be fixed within our own families to make a difference for our kids.

Now that I got that off my chest, our April Book of the Month is

12 Simple Secrets REAL Moms Know.

I am going to accompany this book with an intense study that I think will bring you back to where all of our hearts want to be with our families!! I hope you will join me. This is reality, girls. This is a huge wake up call. This is what EVERY mom needs to know and nobody in our "BROKEN" world is going to tell us.

This study will last all month and I will post as much as possible (Lord willing). I hope to post each morning so that you will start your day with a simple secret of REAL motherhood. Please don't hold me to that though yall...Im not good with the pressure...LOL!!

This study comes at the perfect time for me since Season 4 of Jon and Kate Plus Eight is over, so I will not be sharing any of my Gosselin thoughts (but before we close that book, let me just say that I am extremely disappointed in Jon and Kate. They are really not what I thought they were and I am starting to believe that they are not doing as well in their relationship as they would like for us to believe. I hope its not true but I am starting to think that Kate has let a little bit of fame go to her head. Isn't it funny how all satan needs is just a little crack...BRUTAL). I think that this book is so absolutely necessary for moms today...I just can't even tell you. So please prepare your hearts for this. If you can make it over to your local library see if you can pick it up because there are lots of charts and worksheets in there that just are not feasible for us to go over in this format.

We will begin with an introduction tomorrow morning. Please consider joining us. There is just so much to learn. I promise you at least one Ah-Ha moment and am certain that this will make you feel like you are not alone and give you the courage to parent the way you know is right...OOOH its just so good!! If you think there is something here for you or for someone you know, please consider subscribing/following my blog and you won't miss a thing. Also, encourage a friend to join us as well. It is that good. Younger moms or newbie moms, this can save you years of heartache. Older moms or veteran moms, this could potentially change your life and how your kids will view you much later in life. Its never too late!!

UNBELIEVABLE!!

Okay so you know I can't leave you hanging...here is an excerpt on what you can expect from JUST THE INTRODUCTION!!!

"Of course we love our kids to pieces and would do anything in the world for them. That's never been in doubt. But many of us feel torn, pushed, and pulled in different directions. Whether we work full time or part time or are stay at home moms seems to make no difference. Most mothers are feeling the same. There are so many parenting choices and opportunites these days, so many new mothering options and strategies, so many new products that are supposed to make our kids brilliant and successful. And all that new research keeps hitting us in the face with what we must do pronto or else. And then there's the pressure of trying ot keep up with all the other moms and all that they do for their kids that could give them an edge over ours.

So, we are running around making all these appointments...and we're trying to play all these different roles: we're the limo driver, the party planner, the wardrobe mistress, the volunteer car washer, the super organized woman with the longest to do list on the block. The more we do , the more there is to do. The more we try to keep up with the latest parenting trends and competition for status and achievement, the more pressure and anxiety we experience. The more we wish we could keep it simple the more complicated and difficult it seems to become.

...Are you at all concerned that the complicated and demanding roles we're playing, however unintentionally, are being dictated to us from somewhere else, by some expert or guru or lady down the block?

...Okay, have I got your attention? Do you agree that all the stresses and pressures of being a mother today can wrench us away from being real and sticking to our intuition of what's best for our kids? So how do we get back in touch with what really matters to our kids? How do we know what is real?

I'll tell you."

Oh boy, and that is just 2 pages of the intro...See yall in the morning...HAPPY READING!!

Check out This Blog

Hey Ladies!! My wonderful Pastor's Wife that I am always talking about, just started her blog. Its called Pastorette's Progress. She is a wonderful, totally selfless, and a very much inspiring woman, so I was hoping you might stop by and give her a quick hello and a little comment of support as she starts her blogging journey. I think you will enjoy what she has to say and will look forward to her posts! Yall have a great day!!

Family Fun Friday

photo courtesy of www.bestwestern.com

So, its the weekend already!! I am so excited because it is going to be a beautiful weekend here and I am ready to enjoy it. I must also say that I am very much looking forward to "Sleep Late Saturday" as my kiddos call it!! That will be nice!

For Family Fun Friday, I will post what we are going to be up to this weekend and hopefully you will to. Sometimes I feel less than creative and my kids end up passing the day doing pretty much nothing in their jammies. I HATE when that happens, so I was hoping that by all of us posting what our plans are, we can encourage each other's creativity when we are feeling a little less than creative.

So, this weekend my husband is working nights. Today I am going to pick up a movie for us to watch tonight since we will have no daddy boy to keep us entertained. I am also going to pick up 2 canvases from Michaels (using my 50% off coupons of course), and I am going to let the girls each paint a canvas to decorate their new rooms with tomorrow afternoon. This is such a cheap, inexpensive, and SO FUN thing to do. If you haven't tried it you should. The kids really take pride in it and its all ready to be hung as soon as its done. No framing, no nothing!! THEY LOVE IT and so do I. Pure peace and quiet entertainment for at least an hour or two!! For the rest of the weekend we will be outside, maybe in the clover patch if I'm lucky!! Searching for 4 leaf clovers is lots of fun!!

So how about you??? What yall got going on this weekend in the Family Fun category???